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One aspect of being a working mom that nearly every woman will face at one point or another while they are working outside of the home is the feelings of guilt. Maybe you feel guilty about leaving your children in someone else’s care when you feel you should be the one raising them. You may even feel guilty about not being able to devote the time you think is necessary to your boss, job, or clients. Guilt is a vicious cycle that some working moms get onto that they can’t easily find a way off of.

Guilt is such a waste of time and emotional energy. It actually can make you feel inadequate and unable to function properly. In short, it can be debilitating but it’s not something that is without remedy.

Write down the reasons why you’re working so hard. Perhaps you’re trying to save money to buy a bigger house with a fenced in yard. You may be trying to put money aside for a family vacation to a large theme park in another state. You may even be saving for your child’s education. Then again, it may be that you thoroughly enjoy your job and can’t imagine not working outside of the home. No matter what your reasons are for working, knowing what those reasons are can help when guilt tries to weasel its way into your mind.

Maybe you aren’t able to keep your house spotless right now. That’s okay. People are more important than a spotless house. Besides, a spotless house looks like it’s not lived in, or loved in, so let that bit of guilt go.

Unless your husband was raised in a museum, he probably won’t care if the beds aren’t made or there’s clutter on the table from where the children were finger painting his most recent gift. He’s going to be more concerned about his family being healthy and happy, and that includes you, more than he will care that you haven’t vacuumed in a week or two. The housework will always be there, and if it bothers him that much that the house is a mess, sweetly ask him to pitch in and make the house more presentable and to his liking.

Besides the keeping the house neat and tidy, working moms feel guilty about their relationships with their children. It may not be that you want to work outside of the home, but your financial situation may require it at this point in time. Try to remember that things can and will change when you’re on a better financial footing.

Have you missed one too many peewee football games and your son is mad at you for it? Perhaps your daughter has been taking dance classes and you missed her recital. This can be hard for you as a mom, but it’s harder for the child. Don’t make promises you won’t be able to keep. Instead tell them that you will try your hardest to be at the next event.

To help you and your child feel better about your absences, plan a “date” for just the two of you so you can reconnect and talk about everything that’s going on. Take them to their favorite fast food restaurant. Sit and talk as long as you can keep their attention. Let them tell you how they feel. Reassure them that they are important to you, you love them, and you’ll try not to disappoint them again. If you have more than one child, make an appointment for each one and be sure to keep it!

Acknowledge that there are going to be times that you feel guilty about something relating to work and your family. It’s not fun missing out on important milestones like your child’s first step, his first homerun, or her first lost tooth. Those things are once-in-a-lifetime events that can never be recaptured. Mourn the loss of those special events but don’t let them get you down too far.

Try to live in the present, not the past. Don’t dwell on what could have been, but make the most of the time that you have to spend with your family each day. You can’t get the past back to live again so don’t kick yourself over it. Instead, try to make the next game, the next recital, or be entirely present when you are with your spouse and children.

Look forward to the time when your life will be back in balance and the guilty feelings are no longer a part of your day. Take out your list of reasons why you’re working. Concentrate on the list and be thankful that you have a job that can help you meet those goals.